Movies.Friends.Other Friends.

He was right. I need lots of reflecting ter do.

Movies. Friends. Other friends.

They all happened in a flash and ended, sadly, in a flash. It's like I'm brainless or something! There are lots of I should have, could haves, must haves and so on. Devinna was so right about it. Poor guy. )=

Ready, Set, CRAM!

Okay. That's it. Today, I'm planning to NOT sleep at all. Last day of exam, more cramming to do. I don't care, I am going to make it through Grade 8 ALIVE. I am going to cram and study and never use the crook's way to win things. I am going to cram, as soon as this blog is posted. I am going to cram, all of the Form 1 and Form 2 topics. And I am going to cram like I've never crammed before.

What Am I?

There are times when I sit back and just have flashbacks. While doing that, I'd go, "What in the green dairy farm was I thinking?!"

I guess you know, it's true what they say. Some people tend to talk before they think. Which is me. I never really had this brain operate for communications. Secondly, I have no idea why people are so... sensitive. Like yeah, okay, maybe I'm the only laid back person on Earth but I do have hurt feelings and those feelings appear when other people are hurt. Well, most of them time. Depends on who.

It's funny really. Everyone's the same. We keep saying, "Look out for the good side of her and ignore the bad." But looks like everyone forgets the good side as soon as the bad side peeks out into this cruel world.

I was once a faithful Christian, went for cathecism classes (And I still do actually.) and learnt Holy things. And for the first time, I really think that I need some of that Holy lessons smothered onto me. Maybe I'm unconscious of what I do or say but I tend to say the wrong things at the wrong time. Poor, dear old me. I sometimes have no idea what I had said.

I guess as everyone sees my bad sides, I see it as nothings. I guess that's how crooks feel. While people accuse and hate them for stealing, he feels happy doing so. It's complicated how this world works. I can't even figure out what loci is.

A Violent Little Child, I was

Funny, I just remembered what my first ambition was.

TO BE A GANGSTER. A bang ganger, whatever. And that was when I was about 5-7. I'd look at people I hate and I'd say, "I'll burn your toy." Maybe you could say I was more of an arson because I played with fire once and almost burnt my house down. I remember playing with matches and almost lighting up the bed with fire.

Then when I was 12, I wanted to be a loan shark. I don't really know why but I guess I just wanted to be one.

A few years later, after playing certain violent games, I decided that I wanted to either be in the Mafia or the Yakuza. I always had this love story going on in my head too. That I was some punk or rookie in this Mafia/Yakuza business and it had something to do with falling in love with the top dog, the Boss. Maybe that's why they don't recruite females to join the Mafia. We are "compassionate". Which is rather true because I really cannot bring myself to killing a poor innocent little FLY. Haha... I am so not eligible to be in the Mafia.

Right now, I wanna either be an arson or a murderer. I liked them Jack the Ripper stories. It scared the crap out of me but it was nice reading about it. If I was a murderer, I'd arrange them bodies in a weird.... WAIT, I shouldn't be telling this.

To Those Who Have Posed Questions on my Beliefs and Spirituality.

I admit it, I am an atheist. I am not proud of it, nor am I ashamed of it. I will say it when I need to and stress on the fact that I am one and it is my belief.

Okay, number one. An answer to Devinna's question.

The reason why I said Hinduism was dirty because
a) I didn't know what to say.
b) It was one of them questions where I'd look for a word in my head and just simply pick one to get it over with and move on.

I did not mean any offense to Hinduism because
a) There isn't a reason to.


I think that if you are to accept me as a friend, you are also to accept my beliefs and spirituality. What you said today was very annoying and I did not feel comfortable having to answer them truthfully. It is one of my sensitive topics of which I do not wish to touch or have anything to do with.

I believe in the Darwin's theory. I accept the theory because of the evidence available which confirms and answers my question.

I do not believe in the existence of God, Demons and The Holy Spirit because there is no evidence to support their existence.

Although my belief in evolution is strong, I admit, I do not happen to know everything about anything.

However, if I was presented with proofs and evidence that would have disapproved my beliefs, I would change my mind.

I do hope that this topic will not be brought up again.

Yours truly,
Natasha Lim.

A Lesson Learnt

Oh wow 4 A.M and Natasha is awake?
Yeah, she is.

And she's blogging. A poem.

She sat by the window sill
Stared out the brown square frame
Wondered if she should
Travel down the road.

She stood by the door
Stared out the brown rectangular frame
Wondered if she should
Travel down the road.

She stood by the road
Stared out of her rectangular glasses
Wondered if she should
Travel down the road.

As she walked barefoot
To travel down the road
She realized that she should
Have listened to her mom.

As she walked barefoot
To travel down the road
She realized that she should
Have worn her torn little sandals.

As she walked barefoot
To travel down the road
She realized that she should
Ignore all the pains.

She lay on the bed
Thinking of the flash
The pain burning her
Her mother, crying for her.

She lay on the bed
Thinking of the flash
The pain burning her
A joyrider, had hit her.

She lay on the bed
Thinking of the flash
The pain burning her
She, had learnt her lesson.

Natasha L.


It's kinda weird really, this poem. I'm actually trying to say that because this particular girl, didn't listen to her mom, had to feel the pain because she was hit by a car. Well, don't look at it at one angle. Try to relate it with current social problems. Like uh... Taking drugs and having to pay the price and stuff like that. So, listen to advice before things are too late.

Hope you liked it. Or at least, GOT IT.

Hmm...

It's exams and I have no idea what to do. Studying? Nah... I don't feel like it. I remember being more stressed out for my topical test. Dang.

I've got lots to study and I'm just bumming around downloading songs. If my dad knew about this, I'm dead. I guess I should start with BM. Move on to Moral. Then KHB. Read a little about PSV and read a lot for PJK.

Okay okay. I best do a schedule.

Today (Sunday) - BM, Moral, PJK, PSV, KHB and Sejarah.
Monday - PJK, PSV, KHB, Sejarah.
Tuesday - Sejarah, Geography.
Wednesday - Geography.
Thursday - Geography and Science.
Friday - Sivik, Science and Maths.
Saturday - ditto
Sunday - ditto
Monday - Maths and Science
Tuesday - Maths and Science.

Okay. I feel better now. I like to have things straightened out. I don't like to not know what's happening. xD

Keelhauled!!

I don't if it's just me or what but I'm hooked!

I started playing Pirates of the Caribbean at night last night and I got hooked and played 'til dawn! And I have this game on my PSP, Pirates, and I got hooked on that too. And it kinda hit me that it's cool be a pirate. Killing people for no reason whatsoever. Running away from the English like a pariah. What more could I truly want? Ok sure, if I ever get caught, I'd be decapitated or just keelhauled. I'm talking like a true pirate, I am. If only talking like a pirate is accepted in Malaysia. All the swearing and cursing. And you won't be called to the teacher's office for minor offences like that!